The Domino Effect Of A Man
by klcm
Summary: With Morgan as acting chief, things slip through his hands. He's no longer the same man. It's time for the home truths whether he likes it or not.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: As ever I hate saying it but I do not own Criminal Minds

* * *

Who could've thought that taking two words out of my everyday life would make such a detrimental domino effect to 7 lives?

Taking those words out must have been the worst mistake of my life.

I lost a lot of respect from people.

I showed that I didn't really care about those I classed as family, that really after all the years, I didn't love the one I called baby girl. I showed to them that I was a career bod, someone that was more after getting the better jobs than keeping those close to me safe and happy.

That was my lifelong mistake.

It was the day I decided to keep those words from my life that I disassociated myself from one person in particular but the problem was I didn't see the train wreck and destruction I was leaving of her life.

It was like I didn't care for her.

I wasn't determined to do that but when all compounded on me and my life got set straight I saw that I had a lot of destroyed things I needed to sort out.

It was going to be hard work and there was no way I could place those two words into a conversation and believe everything was fine.

I'm the baddie in all this, but mine was a moral choice turned bad.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ As one ends, one begins so it seems!

Anyhoo! Hope you like!

The motivator behind most of the stuff I write: Emzypemzy... she really gets me and my muse!

Reviews are love, they fuel me to write more! XD


	2. Bitterness From The Unlikely

Disclaimer: As ever I hate saying it but I do not own Criminal Minds

* * *

'Garcia this... Garcia that... Garcia can you run this search? Garcia find this?' Penelope said in pure frustration as she tidied up her desk. 'I hate him!'

JJ and Emily flinched at her words.

'Don't get me wrong, I know the old Derek Morgan is there or at least I want to believe that but right now I feel like this team is being run by a stranger!'

'We agree.' They both said in time.

'I mean it's been 3 months since he called me one nickname... that's all I ask... one stupid immature nickname but no and now I'm done!'

'What do you mean you're done?'

'I can't cope with it! I can't be in a job where there is no US... it's all I... we were a family until _he_ got put in charge! So I say no more... I've sat tight, hoping that one day he'll snap out of his power trip but he hasn't so I'm leaving.'

'It's a bit bizarre Penelope isn't it?'

'Well if it knocks some sense into him then I'll go... and once this team is back how it should be then I might come back but he has trodden over each one of us trying to make himself out to be a big shot in front of Strauss.'

'You do know you have to tell him you're leaving.'

'Oh don't worry... I wasn't going to leave without making my impression.' Penelope said with an almost emotionless face, she was in no mood to be messed around. The girls looked at her desk, it was empty of all her things, it was far from Penelope's sanctuary. 'I'll only be programming computers so I can drop that and slot back here when the pompous twat has left the building.'

'You're really going to do this aren't you?'

'I am.' Penelope said, she waved a letter in front of them and left.

Emily and JJ looked at her. 'She's really going to do this.' They both said in time and followed the blonde tech to Derek's office, they made it just in time to see her knock and disappear into the room.

'What's a matter Garcia?' Derek asked without looking up.

_Well at least he had some acknowledgement of me_. She thought as he knew her knock, knew her presence. 'Well _Morgan_.' She said with emphasis. 'I came to give you this.' She slid the paper across to him and then stood straight, crossing her arms across her chest. 'Thought you might like to know first.'

'Can this wait?'

'Well no not really.' She said a little annoyed, that was all she felt to him at the moment, pure bitter annoyance. 'Much like your career, that happens to be mine.' His head snapped up at that point in shock. 'Yeah that's my resignation.'

'Excuse me?'

'I don't want the job anymore.'

'Why the hell not?' He said grabbing the paper and looking over it. 'You can't just leave.'

'Oh, I think I can.' Penelope responded sternly, she was not going to let whatever charm he used to use on her work, he'd blown it, he needed to work hard to get everything back.

'Why?'

'That's not what's relevant here... but that's my resignation whether you like it or not.'

'I thought you were happy.'

'Oh I was... perfectly happy and secure.'

'And now...'

'Now I doubt it.'

'You got to give me something here Garcia...'

'Try that...'

'What?'

'You know what? Why should I have to tell you what's going on right under your nose? You should see it yourself seeing as you are the unit chief.' She then turned and watched to the door.

'Garcia... please...'

'Why don't you start with making me an ally Morgan and not someone that works for you... then you might start to get somewhere... I've packed most of my stuff up, so come Friday evening I won't be part of this anymore.' She then left, feeling marginally better for getting some of what hurt so much off her chest.

Derek watched her leave before getting up and following her to her office. 'Garcia... talk to me... please.'

'Garcia... that was a rarity from you, now it's like I'm just some tech helping the team. Try that for size Morgan. Oh and another thing her names Tamara Barnes...'

'You're jealous?' He asked with a laugh.

'Oh far from it Morgan.' She said fitting in the coldness of using his last name and nothing else. 'I'm going to be cruel here because you need it. Remember the man called Battle?' She saw him flinched. 'Glad to see that evoke some human emotion for once was beginning to wonder just how robotic you were. Well Battle came in and I ignored _your_ advice, despite everything we have and then look what happened, it came right around on me and I almost died trying to prove something to you.

Then I told you dating a victim's grieving sister wasn't a clever idea but despite everything between us you went and did it... you having fun in that relationship?'

'What's happened to you? You've never been this bitter?'

Penelope laughed. 'Try seeing the destruction of the team for once... and think about it, I called you about 3 weeks ago, said I needed you for something, you shot me down, you were busy.'

He remembered back to that night when she rang, her voice was thick with tears but he was tired and run down with work he hadn't taken it all in. 'I- my mind wasn't with me that night.'

'Yeah well nor was mine really.'

'What happened?'

'What's it matter Morgan? It's over. Now you better get back to work before Strauss thinks I'm distracting you from your high and mighty duties.'

Derek flinched again. 'What. Happened. To. You?'

'Kevin happened to me that's what! Now get out Morgan, we have work to do, just maybe if you want things on track again you should take a step down, let Rossi take your place until Hotch can, you might gain a life back.'

'Penelope...' He snapped, Garcia no longer in his mind to call her that, he held back in using baby girl. 'Let me in... let me try to make this right.'

She blew out a sigh. 'I finished it with Kevin and for it I got a beating. There you happy now?'

Derek stood frozen staring at her, sorrow, angst, worry flooded his features. 'I'm so sorry.' He said and left her standing in her office alone, the guilt building up in her for being so mean to him, but then she realised that she had to do that so that he saw what was happening to his life.


	3. Finally Seeing

Disclaimer: As ever I hate saying it but I do not own Criminal Minds

* * *

Derek walked straight out of the building and into the warm afternoon air, after the way Penelope had just spoken to him; he felt his life crash down around him. He had pushed her away so much with trying to be professional that he forgot about their friendship in the middle of it, and he had been the one to make her want to quit a job where she was surrounded by 6 people who loved her most.

If he'd done that to her, his baby girl, the one that was always there for him, what had he done to others?

His mind swirled with the way Penelope was, how had he missed the tone of her voice when she was hurt? How had he ignored that? That made him a baddie, he was the villain here. Now he took a deep breath, he had to make this right, he had to not be a stranger anymore, he had to be true to himself, to be true to everyone in his life. But to do so he had to make the changes himself.

He walked right in, Penelope's world rolling around in his head, the bitterness to her usual cheerful tone, her saddened face as she used his last name and withheld the nicknames that made their bond unique. Everything had changed around him and he hadn't seen it but he'd had a hand in making the changes.

'Hotch?' He said tapping on Hotch's office door and walking in. 'I need to speak to you... it's important.'

'What is it?'

'I want to drop out of the chief position.' Derek said automatically. 'I'm not cut out for the job.'

'But you've been in it nearly 4 months.'

'Yes and it's ruined relationships for me.'

'Oh.'

'Gar- Penelope's leaving because she doesn't feel we act right anymore... she can't work in my team anymore. You kept us together Hotch.' Derek ran his hands over his head in frustration. 'I actually think Penelope hates me.'

'Well you did just kind of cut out all elements of what makes you two you. Like one day you woke up and forgot who Penelope was, like you were just ringing some tech from the tech pool to help, not the fact that Penelope's you baby girl.' Derek shook his head. 'We tried to sort it but you slipped Morgan, you got involved into your role as chief unit and although that is admirable and shows eagerness, it also illustrated that you're too inexperienced to deal with it properly.'

'Can Rossi not take my place? I mean he was in this position before... surely he'll pick us up.'

'It's no fairy tale Derek, just stepping down isn't going to sort everything out; you need to make it better.'

'I don't know if I can.'

'Go talk to her Morgan, treat her like a friend, she'll forgive you. She does love you after all, and Penelope hates grudges. Plus she's going to want her family back as much as you want it back.'

'How bad are we?'

'Bad enough.' Hotch said almost regretfully. 'Let's just say we're a pretty negative bunch now, we all could've stopped it but the job swallowed us and now we're in too deep.' Hotch saw Derek grow even more darker as the truths piled up. 'Go to her Derek; make it right, she's the beginning, after that everything will fall back into place.'

'Thanks.'

'No problems.' Hotch said and waited for Derek to go before he got back to looking at the file on Foyet that he'd managed to hide.

Derek literally stalked the corridors, his world around him seemed more defined, less of a blur, and it worried him about how much of life he had let pass. He made it to Penelope's office door and he knocked, he waited for the summoning and again, that had changed.

'Come in.' Came Penelope's almost saddened voice.

He entered the room. 'Can we talk?'

'What do you want Morgan?' She asked as she continued to write down notes from the screen. 'Shouldn't you be working hard in your office?'

'The office you sorted out for me you mean?'

'What's it really matter? It hasn't been that since the day I dragged you in there has it?' She said turning in her chair, he saw her red eyes and knew she'd been crying. 'Do you need something?'

'I want to apologise.' He told her and she looked away from him. 'Can I take you to dinner? Please?'

'I don't think Tamara will be appreciative of that.'

'There is no more Tamara. She's long gone, she didn't like my hours, or the moods I was in, or the nightmares, only one person understood all that about me.' He said running his hand over the back of his neck. 'And, well, I blew it with her.'

'I gave you advice earlier Morgan.'

'And I took it.' He said and watched her stand up and put some files away. 'I told Hotch I want to drop down, what you said earlier. Everything you said earlier was the truth. I need to make this right and my first place is with you.'

'I should say we need a break from each other, get the priorities of us right but I've barely known you lately so there's little point.'

'Who helped you? With Lynch that is?' He said as the distance between them settled in all over again.

'Hotch did... he was my last resort but the hospital wouldn't let me out.'

'Hospital?' He gasped at her and Penelope watched the pain flood into his eyes, and the tears begin to fall. The thing he expected least of all was the arms that wrapped around him. 'I'm so sorry... I really am.' Derek near enough chocked as her scent field his sense.

'Hey... it's okay.' Penelope soothed to him, the guilt really eating away at her. 'We can sort this out.'

'How can we? I've let you down.'

'Well then it's time to pick me up... pick us all up... just be you again handsome, yeah?' She saw him smile at her. 'What?'

'Handsome... that I didn't expect.'

'Well it's going to be a rarity but you need a pick me up.' Penelope said and wiped a tear off his cheek. 'I never could withstand a man that shows emotion.' She joked with him. 'You need to understand that you Morgan did a domino effect on this family. We don't know when it started but taking all civilised, loveable Derek Morgan away kick started part of it.'

'I'm sorry... I really am.'

'Stop apologising to me... I know you are.' She half smiled at him.

'Let me make it right, at least with you and me.' He looked at her, his eyes never leaving hers. 'Let me make you an ally.' He said turning her words on her. 'Please.'

'Make this right and we'll see.'

'Dinner with me tonight... I'll pick you up.'

'As much as I would love to Derek, I'm not up for going out lately.'

'Why not?' Derek asked and the realisation hit him. 'How bad?'

'It's all mostly bruises but at end of the day I just like to go home and fall into my PJ's where I'm comfortable.'

'Fine I'm bringing dinner to you.' He said, kissed her forehead and left the room. Penelope no longer felt guilty; she'd just witnessed Derek Morgan exit a room with his head held high, his voice almost melodic, his composure in its stoic dark knight form.


	4. Comforting Away The Worries

Disclaimer: As ever I hate saying it but I do not own Criminal Minds

* * *

Derek, walking up to Penelope's apartment, with the stipulation to use the key she'd given him after Battle handled the bags of take away food ready to let himself in. He made the short journey to her door and another realisation of missing out hit him. When he let himself in, he saw only lamps on no major lighting; he peered into the bedroom en route to the kitchen and saw Penelope was asleep, her back to him. However, as he put the bags down he heard a scream and dropped them before running into her room and seeing her sitting up, sweat wetting her forehead, her arms wrapped around her legs as she calmed herself.

Again his heart sank a little more, wondering if he'd been more around in her life she wouldn't be so haunted. 'Baby girl?' He asked softly but then heard her sob as it came out muffled in her arms. He immediately got on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, taking her out of her protective bubble and placing her in his. 'It's okay.'

'No it's not.' She told him and pulled away. 'These aren't going to stop.'

'How long?'

'Since Battle I guess, but since Kevin they've just gotten a little worse.' She admitted easily, like the distance between them hadn't happened. 'I- I keep getting to the point where I call you... and... it's just stupid.'

'No it isn't, and what?'

'It's like you're a stranger to me, I keep telling you all this stuff we did together but all the time you have no idea who I am, telling me I must be mistaken, you don't remember any of it, you know no baby girl...'

He sat there staring at her and her eyes refused to look into his eyes, and as he listened to her he realised that her dreams, that conversation where he hadn't been bothered to make her a priority, the one time he did so she was hurt, was really a reflection of how their friendship had pulled and frayed and how it had been.

'I shouldn't have taken the job.'

Penelope's head shot up at him, her eyes widened in shock her bottom jaw slacked. 'No, don't you dare! You deserved the opportunity to raise the bar in your life Derek! No one should hold you back from living your life, it isn't anyone else's, it's yours.'

'Yeah but if it means pushing everyone that's helped me so much in the past away what's the point? I think I'd rather be below my ability and have a family love me than in a position where I'm best but isolating those around me.' He pushed her fringe back and looked into her eyes; she knew that was the end of that chat for now. 'Come on then princess we have food getting cold.'

'I'm really not hungry.'

'Well you're eating, you need to.' He told her with a smirk. 'Even if I have to force feed you.'

'Don't do that... I'll make it messy.'

'We'll have to find a bib then.' He told her and stood up, putting his hand out for her. 'Come on then baby girl.'

She laughed and took her orders, standing up, taking his hand softly, not the way they used to and followed him out, as soon as she smelt the food her hungry levels played up and she was glad it was there.

'Hungry now?'

'I do believe I am.' She said as she watched him dish up. 'Film?'

'Go for it... you pick, just no lovey dovey films...'

'Action packed it is then.'

'Got anything that mixes the two?' He told her knowing she would do, numerous movie nights in the past meant he knew her DVD collection as much as she knew his. When he sat down with two plates in his hands he was satisfied with her choice and waited for her to slump down and take the plate. He noticed she sat tightly in the corner of her end of the couch, the distance between them glaringly obvious. Another realisation that it would take more than an apology and some comforting to make this all better, to get life back on track again.

They ate in near silence before Penelope sat her plate down and grabbed a pillow and curled around it. He watched her eyes glaze over, her face on the telly to make it seem she was interested but the presence there was elsewhere, darting back and forth places, anywhere but the current reality.

'You okay there baby girl?'

'Yeah course, why?' She asked quietly before looking up at him.

'You looked a little distance there.'

'I'm still mad at you.' She told him.

'Not physically, I got that, where's that mind of yours gone?'

'Just thinking.'

'Care to share?' He asked shifting his body language; she knew about body language, he was shutting the film off from his attention making her a priority with his open interested posture.

'Is it so easy?'

'Is what so easy?'

'To get back together, make our friendship what it was?'

'We make it easy or hard Pen, that's the way it works, we work on us at whatever pace we want to go.'

'I want to go slow, I need to.' Penelope told him, again losing eye contact. 'I just can't let you in and be like the last 4 months didn't happen because they did and it still hurts.' The word echoed in both their heads for different reasons.

For Derek, the word hurt illustrated what deducting two key, poignant words had done. It had literally torn away at Penelope's life, made her feel insignificant. Made her feel like a stranger to a person that had loved her dearly before he got so consumed by the job he was in.

For Penelope, the word hurt echoed for the emotional and physical pain she'd felt. The times she needed Derek the most in the past he'd have jumped, with no motive or agenda, he was just there to support her. She felt hurt for the reason that she'd made him feel welcomed in a job that had made him uncomfortable to adjust to. She'd made him his office, made it have the draw of life, the picture of her, things that would lighten his life when things got down but that hadn't worked well. It was that, that made her feel a bit like a failure, she hadn't kept one of them afloat.

'I need time to reassess and associate you into my life, as much as I want to open my arms and hug you like before, I feel it'd betray what's happened. I need to know that you aren't going to drop me when you think you can take on the duties of work again.'

He nodded with disappointed agreement. 'I get it, I do. I want to prove to you that I want my life back to being perfect again...' She laughed at him. 'It's the truth! I was a happy man back then Pen. Tired, admittedly, over taken, yes but happy and enjoying life.'

'Well there are five others that need that declaration besides me Derek... just prove your worth.'

'Oh I will, don't you worry.' He told her with a self assured smirk; Penelope matched it, that was the proof that everything he'd told her was the god's honest truth.

Derek Morgan was now on a mission.


	5. Backtracking

Disclaimer: As ever I hate saying it but I do not own Criminal Minds

* * *

'Drinks anyone?' Derek said walking into the bullpen the following Friday. 'First round on me.' Reid and Emily who still sat at the desks outside just looked at him with a slight shocked expression. 'Come on... please.'

'Did I hear the offer of a night out with the local superheroes?'

'You did but no one seems up for it.'

'I am.' Penelope said with a smile, Derek looked at her, only 2 days previous she had told him how she didn't like going out at the moment but here she was the front runner for it. 'It'll be fun.' Everyone eyed her suspiciously, she'd been number one campaigner for the hate of Derek Morgan yet here she was wanting to go out with him.

'Fine.' They all said unenthusiastically and got back to work. Derek walked back to his office a little disheartened, a bit more sadder.

'Cheer up Derek.' Penelope said as she stood at the doorway. 'They'll come around to the idea.' She smiled and turned. 'I better go, seems you have a visitor.' She looked the sad one now as she left, her smile a blatant lie to him. He watched the door, half expecting Strauss to walk in but instead Tamara stood at the doorway.

'Tamara.' Derek said standing up, keeping the desk between them. 'What do you want?'

'I wanted to apologise, I wasn't fair on you, I finished it with you without making things right.'

'You don't need to, we're done.'

'Give me the chance Derek.' She said quietly, her eyes almost pleading. 'Please... I want this to be right between us.'

'Tamara please leave.' Derek said and for once he couldn't feel more welcoming to Strauss at the door. 'Ma'am, how can I help you?' He watched Tamara disappear and walked around to shut the door behind Strauss.

Come that evening they were all gathered in the bullpen. 'I'll go down and see what's keeping him.' Penelope said and left, everyone but Hotch still a little lost at her niceness after the months of literally getting the cold shoulder. She walked in and knocked, the door was open but the room was empty, the table lamp off, she frowned turned it off and went back to the team. 'He isn't there.'

'Well let's go and you can keep trying his cell.' Hotch said and lead the team out, one man down. Penelope frowned again; he wouldn't have broken a plan with them. She was creeping out of her comfort zone for him, and he wasn't there, maybe leopards didn't change their spots she thought as she sighed and followed them.

They'd been sitting in the bar for nearly an hour and half before Derek had answered and told her he was just coming. Like clockwork he turned up and sat down looking drained.

'What you want to drink Derek?' Penelope asked politely.

'Beer will do Garcia.' He did without acknowledging it; Penelope didn't say anything, once or twice was normal for them. She left and got him a drink, plopping it down in front of him she took her seat. 'Thanks.' He near enough grumbled. Derek hardly moved while the girls got up and danced, when it came to Penelope being left with him, she sat and surveyed his features.

'Going to tell me what's up?' She asked him after hearing Garcia in every sentence he answered her with, she was more than annoyed that he slipped up so easily.

'I'd rather not Garcia.' He said looking around him, and back, his eyes momentarily glancing at hers and away again.

'Can I ask why?'

'You can, if I tell you is another thing.'

'Well the offers open Derek.'

'Right Garcia.' Penelope stood up then, finished her wine and grabbed her bag, that got Derek's attention. 'Where do you think you're going?'

'Home.'

'Why?'

'Think about it.' She said and looked at Hotch as he returned. 'I'm going home... I'll see you Monday.' Then she left, Derek got up and followed her out.

'Don't leave.'

'I'm going home Derek.'

'Why?'

'Because I'm sitting in a place that I feel so uncomfortable when all the while the one person I'm trying to help sits and mops and won't let me help. Heck, the same man's even back tracked and started to call me 'Garcia', I don't know what happened to you in the time I left you with Tamara to you arriving here, but I'm fed up with it. You and your volatile behaviour. Job or woman, I think I've had enough of you pushing me and pulling me as and when you feel like it, I'm sick and tired of the game because it's no fun.'

'It's not like that, I'm just stressed.'

'Well usually a few drinks and a couple of hours off made you relax, made you the hunky joker but not anymore.' She saw him go to argue. 'No! You need to hear this. However much I want my friend back, it's not enough to continually strive for if this is the result. I'm tired of it Derek and if a temporary job and a woman is all it took to come between us then maybe our so called 'chemistry' and bond isn't so strong and undying. Maybe we're just weak people in a game of charades that's just been ended.'

'Don't give up on us. We can get us back on track.'

'Can we? I seriously thought we were making progress but everything just got pulled away from me and I'm sick and tired of being the one to hold on to it. I'll always love you Derek, that much is true but for now I can't bear to try and build something that's continually going to be ripped away from me at the smallest thing.' Penelope told him and Derek knew it was breaking her heart to tell him all that. 'If you ever need me I'll be there but right now I think that that space I said we didn't need is necessary after all.' Derek looked saddened now, and her heart broke even more. 'So call me Garcia all you like because it's a hell of a lot easier to be called that than be called baby girl when it suits you.'

'Penelope... please... I'm begging you.'

'Don't Derek... it's not fair on either of us.' Penelope then hailed a cab but as her hand went up Derek turned her and kissed her, they pulled a part.

'Derek!!' Came a female voice from further down the street, they both looked, Tamara was running towards them.

'See you at work Morgan.'

* * *

**A/n:** I know it angsty and gone back but I'm addicted to happy endings for M and G!


	6. Long Time Waited

Disclaimer: As ever I hate saying it but I do not own Criminal Minds

* * *

Hotch looked out of his office and looked at how the team had evolved in 6 months. Although he was happy in a relationship with Emily, he wasn't happy with the strain between two other members in his group, in his family fold. Penelope and Derek only ever had professional words with one another but he had witnessed as the pair had so many urges and flurries to say a nickname, or be unprofessional but never followed it through.

Hotch had also noted that the shift in their friendship deteriorated when Derek got the temporary promotion and then when things seemed to be picking up, something changed when they went out for drinks and since then they hardly spoke to one another.

The only other thing Hotch knew for sure was that it was killing not only Penelope and Derek, but the entire team as a whole, their dynamic was somewhat of a stress reliever to the group and now it was missing.

He turned to Rossi and sighed. 'We need some sort of situation... something that's going to trigger a tidal pool that's not going to stop for no one.'

'Well from the way that boy's getting twitchy it's going to happen any day now.' Rossi said and became thoughtful. 'Why would he leave it nearly 6 months though?'

'Because he was doing what was asked of him and now he's stepping up.' Hotch said as he went to leave the room. 'Everyone go home.' Hotch told them as he looked at the clock on the wall. 'Morgan go tell Garcia to go home.' Derek looked up at him, nearly petrified at the asked task. 'Just do it Morgan, she's hardly been home.'

He stood up and went to her office a place that wasn't of familiarity to him. He walked down the corridor to the door and tapped on it, he heard a low summon and pushed the door open.

'Garcia?' He asked when she didn't look round but a web page disappeared from the screen. 'Garcia?' He said again and he could have sworn his throat quivered without him meaning it to.

'Yeah.' Penelope asked snapping her attention off whatever and turning to look at him. 'Sorry... something you wanted Der-Morgan.'

'You can call me Derek you know.' She looked down and he could swear he could hear see tears gathering in her eyes. 'Hotch told us we can go home... especially you.'

'Oh right, erm, thanks.' Penelope told him, hating the awkwardness that formed when making conversation.

'I'll see you Monday then.' He told her and left. She just sat there, her head racing; she didn't have the energy to move just then. She had to figure things out.

When everyone had gone, Derek was just picking his stuff up, he hadn't seen Penelope leave so before he left he went to her, her door was still open, how he left and she was just sat there with a glaze over her eyes. 'Garcia?' She remained unmoved. 'Garcia?' He called to her again; he then edged into the room. 'Penelope?' He asked with her first name and saw some of flicker, he repeated himself and result to the last thing he'd sworn never to do. 'Baby girl?' Her whole attention snapped onto him. 'You going to go home?'

'Oh!' She said her voice shaky. 'Oh yeah, like now.' She said and turned to her computers, and turned them off, and then she stood and grabbed her things, Derek watching her the whole time. 'Thanks for coming back.'

'No problems, it's just everyone's left but you.'

'And you by the looks of it.' She said to him quietly, still not able to make his eye contact that he was seeking. 'You better go home.' She told him and let him leave, he didn't hang around, he knew she wasn't comfortable but that didn't mean he wouldn't go near her. She needed someone to be her support, he knew that much was true.

When Penelope got home all she wanted was the one person she knew she'd done the most harm to by pushing him away. Derek was never going to be forgiving, not after months. A knock stopped her mental war, stopped her nerves, stopped her whole entire thoughts in their place. She answered the door and smiled before it faltered and she broke.

Derek caught her just as he saw her go. 'Pen...' He said as he pushed her into her apartment, closing the door behind them. 'Hey, what's up?'

By the time he had said that she'd gathered herself back from her momentary breakdown. 'Nothing, what are you doing here?' She retorted trying her hardest to cover up her weakness.

'It's not nothing Pen... and I'm here because I think we've been separated for far too long... six months is a little too long don't you think?' He watched her dodged his eyes and frowned. 'Just look at me Penelope; I'm not going to beat you down because I can see right now that's the last thing you need.' Penelope wanted to leap at Derek, the way he just spoke to her was exactly how the old Derek used to be but she worried it wouldn't last. 'Come on sit down, I'll get you a drink and you're telling me what's wrong and then I'll leave you be.' She watched him walk into her kitchen.

'I've missed you.' She said and Derek stopped, turned and looked at her. 'I had no right to call it quits on us, not without really thinking it thought, and not without taking your side into account, I shouldn't have done that.'

'Hey, it's okay.' He said retracing his steps to stand in front her again. 'I want to start us again, or at least get us what we had, I've missed you so much and not being able to call you baby girl or having you to flirt with has been killing me but it's made me realise something.'

'What's that?'

'I can't live without you.' Derek admitted and felt a weight lift off of him. 'I think I've loved you even before I knew and I took everything about you for granted but losing you like I did I realised that I truly love you.'

Penelope looked at him. 'You mean that? You're not just saying that so I'll be your friend again?' She asked and watched him step in, felt him take her in his arms and kiss her whole hearted, the heat that pulsated through that kiss was intense and she couldn't help but reciprocate.

When then pulled apart he looked at her and smiled. 'I'm going to guess you feel the same?' She nodded and felt a million walls drop. 'Now what's bothering that pretty blonde head of yours?'

'My brother.' She admitted and saw Derek's features darken, if it were a cartoon, he'd have steam coming out of his ears. 'Calm it handsome... about 3 weeks after I ended us, I went to California to make amends.' He smiled slightly but kept it wary. 'We've been back and forth between here and there since, I've got my brothers back Derek.' She near enough beamed at him.

'So what's a matter?'

'Well George, he's the second oldest, he hasn't been well and earlier I was researching his symptoms.' Derek remembered the webpage she cancelled. 'They all point to heart attack.'

'So ring him.'

'I can't, I wish I could but he's away on a work trips... none of us can call him.' Penelope said almost afraid. 'I've rung my other brothers, told them, but not his wife, I didn't want to worry her but I'm scared.'

'I'm sure you are, are you definitely sure it could be a heartache and not a virus?' Penelope shook her head at him; he went to argue the odds again but knew not to, he knew that if anyone, Penelope would have searched every corner of the internet for an alternative explanation. 'Come on let's get you something to drink and eat, and then we'll stick a film on and wait out for news okay?'

'You don't have to.'

'My best friend needs someone's support so someone's support she's getting... even if it turns out to be nothing or not.'

'Thank you Derek... if I could have someone right now it'd be you.'

'Well you have me, that's a guaranteed.' Derek said giving her a quick hug before going back to the kitchen. Hours later found them cuddled up watching a film, both seemingly wrapped up in each other's presence.

Hours later the phone woke them up and Penelope jumped up and lunged for the phone. 'Hello?' She froze and dropped the phone. Derek stepped up and finished the call for her; afterwards he wrapped her up in his arms.

'Hey come on, it was only a minor heart attack baby girl.' He tried to reassure her that her brother was still okay, and alive.

'It was still a heart attack!' She sobbed into his chest. 'I can't lose any of them.' She said selfishly but he knew he felt the same as her about his sisters.

'Come on, pack a bag, we're going to go past mine, and get a plane to them, I'm sticking with you.' She looked at him with shock, ready to dismiss him. 'Not a chance, you're brother's are expecting us.'


	7. Lived The Charmed Life Blind

Disclaimer: As ever I hate saying it but I do not own Criminal Minds

* * *

Hotch shut his phone and he didn't know whether to smile, get angry or go after the pair with worry. Penelope and Derek had got things back on track, slightly, but he was two team members down and he had met the brother's Garcia and knew how important they were to Penelope, and hearing one was ill worried him, not for the brother but for what Penelope had to be going through at that moment in time.

'I'm no liking that facial expression Hotch.' Emily said as she leant against the door of his office. 'What's up?'

'Well our resident love doves are on better terms, secondly, those said people are now going to California because one wants to support the other as Penelope's brother is in hospital.'

'Is he okay?'

'He had a heart attack earlier today, Penelope just got the call and Morgan's gone ahead and booked two tickets and gone with her.'

'What a way to make amends though.'

'It's a start at least.' Hotch said picking up his phone get cover for the absent pair.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Derek had been sitting outside the room at the hospital while Penelope was in with her brother, he had 3 sets of angry eyes and he knew each one of them wanted to kill him. He knew from meeting them that Penelope must have caved and told them, she must have let them in to how sad she was about everything.

The door opened and Penelope stepped out, they all looked up but only Carl stood up. 'You okay Mariposa?' He asked and Penelope smiled sadly at him. 'He's going to be okay... doctors told us that earlier.' She nodded and burst into tears, the others stood at the sight as Carl wrapped his arms around her tightly. 'Hey Chica. What would George do if he saw you like this?' She couldn't answer because she was crying so much. Carl pulled her away from him and looked at her. 'Now, come on, or I might have to use the nickname dad always did.'

'You even remember?'

'I sure do... Vida.' Penelope smiled at him. 'See, still brings that smile it used to.'

'I haven't heard it in a while that's all.' Penelope said slowly composing herself; she looked at Derek who stood watching worriedly, she approached him and looked into his eyes. 'Thank you.' She told him and then wrapped her arms around his neck and he reciprocated and hugged her back tightly.

'I'd do it again baby girl.' He told her and felt her breath hitch. 'If you want me to go back I will, I know this doesn't make anything better between us but I want you to know you've got me for support whenever.'

'Derek...'

'It's okay Penelope; you've got your family here.' He kissed her forehead. 'Call me if you want just a chat... I wanted you here safe, and with your brothers and you are. You don't need me.'

'I do.' She whispered and her head filled with all the Spanish tad bit's she had picked up from being back home, with 3 Spanish brothers, half or not irrelevant, she had picked up important lines. 'Te amo.' She whispered even quieter, Derek froze; he didn't have to be an idiot to know what that meant. 'Don't leave me.'

'Whatever you want.' He said and took her vulnerable posture and hugged her tightly. 'I'm impressed you picked up some Spanish lingo to go with that Latino name.'

'I was scared saying it any other way wouldn't have been the same.' She told him and realised her brothers were still around as she just told a man she loved him, she spun around and saw them smiling. She instantly blushed and they smiled at her more for it.

'You happy now?' Joel asked warily, knowing exactly what Derek was to Penelope.

'I am, I feel better for it.'

'Baby girl.' Derek used the name and Penelope spun back to him shocked, like it was the first day they met. 'Why couldn't you tell me? What's there to be scared of?'

'Everything... losing you for one thing, but after these months of not having you to be there, I didn't see the need to hold back, if I ruined what little we had, it was better than ruining what greatness we had.' She replied and immediately became hesitant, until Derek pulled her closer.

He looked from Penelope to her brother's. 'Guys, I know what I did was a killable offence, heck if someone did it my sister I'd be the head hunter but... I love your sister, so can I get a kiss in and you kill me after?'

Penelope gawped at him. 'Derek kisses are supposed to be a supris...' Derek just wrapped his hands around her and kissed her with all the power in him, all the urges he had under restraint now flowing with the connection of their lips. When he pulled away Penelope's eyes remained closed and then she opened them and looked at him. 'Wow.' He laughed at her.

'Wow yourself Goddess.' Derek said and turned to the 3 men. 'Now... the matter at hand here is that I've been the dick in Pen's life, and I want to make that better, make it all right because she deserves better than the way I treated her. She deserves a man that loves her whole heartedly, that wants only her, that is happiest when with her, and only wants happiness for her too.'

'And are you sure you can give that to her?'

'I'm absolutely positive I can... you're sister stood up to me, like no one has, she broke our friendship off thinking it would make us better, it crippled us but it made me realise what an amazing thing she was to me, what I had under my nose all along and to be honest I'd rather cut off my right arm than lose her again.

She gave me the best wakeup call I could get and I'll be forever grateful for sorting my life out for me again.'

'You done?' Andy asked crossing his arms across his chest. 'You seem to have prioritised your life well Derek.'

'I have... I really have.'

'We have one problem...'

'Andy...' Penelope warned from the sidelines, not knowing what he was up to.

'No kiddo... Derek what if you slip again and break her heart? You going to go for another chance? Let her take you back?'

'No way!' Derek said defensively. 'This is it, I needed this type of kick and if it wasn't Pen, it would have been Hotch... I've lived a charmed life but now I know I've got everything I could ever want in the person I love.'

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

_**So I'm hooked to Happily Ever After, so you can see where this going! **_

_**Just in case the Spanish words I used didn't get the full effect for not knowing what they meant...  
Te amo – I love you**_

_**Vida - Life**_

_**Mariposa – Butterfly**_


	8. Showing The Proof

Disclaimer: As ever I hate saying it but I do not own Criminal Minds

* * *

Everyone watched Penelope but had began to feel worried at her somewhat compensatory behaviour she had began to display, she was stressing over George and applying worry to everyone but herself. She was deflecting any attention put on her and now she seemed to be hitting a wall, and hitting it hard.

'Mariposa, sit down please.'

'I can't Carl, I need to keep busy.' She said as she folded more clothes. He frowned and left the room, he got Derek and Joel and went back into the room, they found Penelope leaning against the counter top, her head ducked.

'Pen?' Joel asked as he stepped in front of the others and went to her. 'What's up?'

'Nothing.'

'What's up?' He repeated. 'It's more than nothing, so what is it?'

'It's nothing to worry about.' She said looking up and he saw her eyes, they looked almost pained, glazed at whatever was throbbing behind them.

'Well we are worrying baby girl.' Derek now stepped in as enforcement. 'So what's up? No poker face or walls, tell us.'

'I just keep getting a headache.'

'How often?' Carl asked demandingly. 'Because hell of fury if you've been keeping it from us...'

'Well then hell's got fury.' She muttered and stood straight before carrying on with the laundry, and then Joel slammed his hand down and took the clothes. 'Let me get on J.'

'No can do kiddo, couch now.'

'No.'

'Now.' All three of them said in unison.

'Look I've managed to work through it before, so let me keep it going like that.'

'But you aren't working through it are you? Because it's back.'

'It's a headache.'

'From stress, lack of sleep, and no self compassion.' Joel stated with a raised eyebrow.

'I'm not stressed, I'm not lacking sleep and I worry about myself when I need to.'

'Oh and add denial to that list.'

Derek stepped in there. 'Couch now... or else.'

'What? You'll spank me? It's been a long time coming.' She told him again trying her hardest to get the conversation off of her and onto something else. 'Just let me get on.'

'Couch, now. Sleep, now.' Penelope went to argue the toss of that but before she knew it she was wrapped up on the couch and being told to sleep, she had no choice. She woke up and ran a hand over her head, her eyes remaining closed.

'You can stop talking about me... I might be blind when minus glasses but I have the hearing of a bat.' She reached over to the coffee table and grabbed her glasses, placing them on she saw her 3 brothers and Derek looking at her, a smirk on each of their faces.

'Feeling better chica?'

'A lot thanks, when we going to George?'

'We're not.'

'Why not?' She demanded sitting up completely.

'Because he is being brought home as we speak.' They watched her smile and then stand. 'Get some more rest.'

'It's dark out, I've think I can get up now.' She told them sternly, crossing her arms across her chest. 'And as much rest as you want me to get, I need food.'

'We've ordered it already.' Joel said as Carl disappeared into the kitchen, bringing her a drink. 'And we had a drink ready for you, so why the need to move?'

'I know one reason.' Penelope said throwing the blanket off her and standing up. 'Toilet.' She said and hastily left the room.

'She's still got that headache.' Derek said once they heard the door shut and lock. The 3 other brother's turned and looked at him with shock, all with the same question poised on their lips. 'She might have a million and one poker faces but she doesn't realise that I see through each and every one of them.'

'That's an impressive trick to have.' Andy told him, with an almost grateful tone to his voice. He then smirked. 'I think now's the time to seal the deal with you two.'

'Don't you want to kill me first?' Derek asked cautiously.

'We did contemplate it but you've proven your worth with how you've looked after out baby sister but you dare do anything like that ever again, even if you so much as call her Garcia, then you'll have us all to answer too.'

'That's a fair deal as far as I can see.'

'We'll see you in a bit Morgan... do the right thing now.' They then left and Derek went into the kitchen, found a glass, got it ready with tablets and took his place by the doorway as he heard the latch come off the lock and the door open. Penelope walked in, almost admittedly ready to sleep more; she was shocked to see Derek standing there alone.

'Where is everyone handsome?'

'Popped out, they'll be back but we need to talk.'

'About?'

'First take these with this and then we'll talk.' He handed the glass over and the tablets and she arched her eyebrow at him. 'Don't dismiss the fact you have a headache, I know you better than that.'

'You always did.'

'And always will.' He said with a self assured smirk and she looked at him as something twisted inside of her, an acumination of everything from the past days.

'I think I just had myself an epiphany.' She said after swallowing the tablets and put the drink down. 'That or a stroke of the future.'

'What you going on about?' Next thing he knew Penelope had pushed her lips to his and wrapped her arms around his neck, when air was needed she pulled away and smirked at him.

'That's my epiphany.'

'I don't understand, I thought you'd be mad at me for at least a year and I'd have to give you the speech of my life to prove that I want you forever.'

'Right now I know but if you want to prove it, just for safety reasons then go ahead you chocolate God of thunder, enlighten me.'

'Fine.' He said and put her down, separated himself from her because right at that moment the look she was shooting him was most like the one he was feeling and he was becoming insatiable all of a sudden. 'Penelope Garcia, you have got to be the only woman that I allowed to get in my head from day one, the only woman that ever beat me at quickness and wit, that matched me at any God given ability I used to my ultimate. You have got to be the only woman that I let slip away and regret every single moment of it. You have got to be the only woman that gets me on any sort of emotional tenterhooks when it comes to your health or your happiness.

Everything about you screams to me passion and you let me go for the better, I know that now, you separated me from you and you from me because at the end of the day for you to carry on your life like you did was slowly killing you. You sacrificed something that meant everything to you just so that you could help me. I now see that, and for that I'll be eternally grateful, you sorted my life out without being up there pushing it, you were the primary element to my life and always will be.'

So Penelope Garcia, my baby girl, my goddess, my everything, I'm forever thankful for you letting me back in.'

He smirked at her and won her over entirely, she reclaimed his lips, kissed them forcefully and passionately and then pulled away breathless. 'It's a speech like that Derek Morgan that makes me want to marry you.'

'Well why don't you then?' She watched as the smirk from only moments ago crossed his face, the cheeky lustful twinkle in his eye reignited and she just stared at him in awe. The domino effect of Derek Morgan had taken a new turn, one that included her wellbeing and happiness. In that one question she was shocked; she had set him free for him to come back for her.

She'd won this game of dominoes without meaning to.

* * *

**The End!**

So I felt I could drag this on but then why the need when I can offer up a healthy dose of MG loveage, right?

Well I hoped you enjoyed! =))


End file.
